Chores Teens Love To Do

Okay, so the title is a little deceptive because from my experience in raising two teens and watching family and friends raise teenagers of their own, I have yet to find a teenager who loves to do chores. So this article should be more appropriately entitled, “There Are No Chores Teens Love To Do.”

I am a list person, so each week I give my teenagers a “Household To Do” list with their chores on it. I do this for several reasons: 1) They know my expectations; 2) They can’t say later that they didn’t understand what it was that I wanted them to do; 3) They can learn how to manage their own time; 4) If they do a half-ass job, they will know exactly why they have consequences; and, 5) One day they too can become great list-builders.

Each time I handed them their Household To Do list you would have thought that I had just sentenced them to a nursing home for the rest of their lives. They use to sigh heavily and have big attitudes until I cut that out, telling them that having an attitude about doing something that was going to benefit them was unacceptable. In fact, for several to do lists the first chore was to come up to me and say with as much sincerity as they could muster, “Hey I just got your Household To Do list and I just want to thank you for giving me this opportunity to be a team player. I appreciate it so much!” They would have to do that or lose their phone until their chores were done. Not only was that effective but I no longer got the blowback that I use to get.

In the middle of a Household To Do list day my daughter got a call about an event she wanted to attend that evening with her friends. The hidden attitude about the chores immediately turned into an enthusiastic, joyful, check-off-the-box activity since I said she could go once her list was done right the first time. I had never seen such enthusiasm.

On the car ride to her event, I told her that she needed to approach her chores with a similar kind of enthusiasm as she has for going to her event. I said that when she got older and worked at a job her boss would not tolerate her giving any blow-back or attitude or half-ass-ness about any task (chores) that she was required to do. And the enthusiasm in doing chores today translates to on the job success tomorrow.

The fourth key to on the job success in our GudeJob.com principles is enthusiasm because it is the glue that makes the journey to Point B all worth it. Enthusiasm flows naturally from passion, so that most people who follow their passion develop an enthusiasm for the jobs they do along the way of achieving Point B. The key is to see every job as a stepping stone for getting to where you want to be.

And your Point B doesn’t have to be the penultimate goal in the world. Your Point B could be something on your bucket list like travelling to another country, seeing your kids off to college, or publishing a book. So in order to change your attitude about a chore that you hate you’ve got to find your passion and enthusiastically work towards it. Here are some helps to get you there:

• Develop a wish list. Wish lists are things that you might like to do, even if it is outrageous. This should be fun and crazy exercise where you make a list of grandiose things you might like to do. The reason why you do this is to get your creative and enthusiastic juices flowing. I have done this as a workshop exercise a number of times with the understanding that there was nothing off the table. Some of the responses I received included being the ruler of a small country, stealing a police car and using the emergency lane during rush hour commute, winning the lottery and then telling their bosses to go f-themselves, and having small woodland animals run all over their naked body. I sent the list to a video game developer who is working a game about living out your fantasies and his only response was, “Cool!”
• Develop a bucket list. Bucket lists are more attainable things that you are likely to do. You may get to it but you may not, but having this list at least gives you something to share with someone else and is used to allow others to help you in achieving goals. Take a moment now and say, “I would like to _____ because _____.” Do that for 10 things and there, you have a bucket list. Then share it with anyone, even an online chat group. You’ll be amazed at some of the feedback you will receive. And it’s this feedback that will help you when you are tempted to hate your job because there just might be some things on that list that will require you to be at that job for another day.
• Take time today to find your passion. To find your passion you need to do a self-assessment of what it is that you like to do. Ask yourself, “If money wasn’t an issue, what would I like to be doing right now?” Indications that you have a solid passion include: 1) It is something that is regularly on your mind to do; 2) You enjoy doing it; 3) You have an uniquely, uncanny skill in doing it; and 4) others benefit from it and have told you so. When all four points speak to something that you like to do, that could very well be your passion.
• Get a passion reminder. A passion reminder is a visible declaration or list about what it is you like to do that you can see on a regular basis—if not every day then every week. That reminder could be a post it on your computer or a list on the wall or a friend who promises to call you on a regular basis. What I have done is to use my Google Calendar to set a weekly repeating entry to every Sunday night I am reminded by and email of what my passions are and the steps I plan to take to achieve them.
• Assess-n-step. Do the next thing on your passion list. The best way that I know to find enthusiasm in a job that I would normally hate is to actually do something on my passion list, no matter how small. It is a great feeling to be able to check something off my list and say that I am moving towards Point B. I remember one day after I was chewed out by my boss because (admittedly) his wife took sides with her mother over him, and because he couldn’t yell at her he was going to yell at me for something he told me to do last week—I sat in my car during lunch took out my tablet and finished rewriting a chapter in my book. I came back to work with so much of an unspoken enthusiasm that later on my boss commented that I looked like I had got another job. The other job that I got was completing another step on my passion list.
• Treat your job like a stepping stone. One thing is true about every job that you will have in life—it won’t last forever. At some point in time you must leave that job. Therefore, every job is a stepping stone. But treating your job like a stepping stone doesn’t mean that you just step on the job or step over a job, it means that the job is a vehicle to help take you to the next level. And just how you normally plant your foot on one stone in order to reach the other, you should also plant yourself in your current job by doing your best work. Doing so helps you get to the next stone and then the next. All along the way keep in mind that these steps are helping you fuel your passion, so take each step passionately.
• Don’t hate the player, hate the game! When the kids get their chores they want to get mad at me for giving it to them, but I’m not the problem. I’ve told them that as long as they allow someone else to totally dictate their mood then they are still a child and should be treated as such. In the same vein, I have had to overcome slave masters and naysayers and dream-killers and blood suckers so that I would not lose focus on the passions that I am grateful to have. Therefore, I fight hard (sometimes every day) to keep from wasting time blaming other people for how I feel about being at Point A when I really want to get to Point B. Yes, dealing with people can be draining, but when I refocus on my passion I find that I can get enthusiastic again about the job that I hate.

Being able to see your own chores as essential next steps towards a passion or a goal will help you experience on the job success on your way to achieving Point B.